terça-feira, 12 de abril de 2011

francesas no telado

sempre pensei que todos devotavam suas vidas aos seres de luz superior. entregavam seria uma palavra que nem todos interpretariam de maneira parecida com a minha. nao sei descrever, talvez sofra alguns equívocos porque não é fácil expressar os anseios e sonhos de uma criança, de uns seis ou sete anos, que foi a partir desse período que me lembro de começar a pensar que nunca saberíamos de nossos futuros seríamos sempre navegadores de primeira viagem em um oceano a ser descoberto a cada passo. era óbvio que sozinha não iria dar para fazer nada, a grande questão era o quê fazer e com quem. o que era nítido e certo nessa história tão breve e derradeira de vida, era que éramos guiados por seres superiores. o que surpreendeu mais tarde foi que essa maneira de ver a base da vida, era rara. tantas coisas aconteciam, e eu não sabia como lidar, lembro desde esse tempo de dizer não importa forma de governo, meio, laços humanos, condição de vida, minha vida estaria entregue `a luz superior, digo, não como algo radical, que essa expressão possa levar o pensamento, mas superior no sentido de ser o outro sempre o objeto de cuidado e amor. a luz como a compreensão e aceitação do mundo como ele é. o equilibrio, uma justiça sem precisar de justiça. pensava, aqui sou instrumento dessa força que guia a minha cabeça. a essa força que sinto sintonia, essa força que devo obrigaçnao, explicação, essa força que sou eu em outra forma e dimensão. isso vem antes de tudo, é o meu lastro interno, externo, minha âncora e balão. minha luz e sombra. eu abdicaria qualquer coisa. algo como uma sincronização, no auge da loucura escrita, poderia descrever como se um zíper, de duas faces complementares se fechassem dentro de mim. esse sinal é uma dádiva em mim. o encontro com o presente em equilibrio é tudo. é o que vale, o que importa, de uma existência. quanto mais crescem minhas unhas, estão enormes agora, francesas, mais erro escrevendo as palavras nesse computador. o barulho de grão de milho..

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